Who should you fight: SAO edition

Kirito: you'll lose. after that, you'll have to listen to his bad jokes. unless we are talking about crippled kirito, then you'll win, but why would you want to fight crippled kirito
Asuna: we are talking about the girl who lifted up a man who has black belts in both kendo and judo irl, but hey, if you want to lose that badly who am I to stop you
Yui: you'll probably win but then you'll have to deal with kirito and asuna. bad move
Silica: 50/50 percent chance to win, but why would you want to fight silica, ask her to pet her dragon or something instead
Lisbeth: you'll lose and then she'll force you to buy her weapons at crazy prices
Klein: find him a girl and he'll lose on purpose
Agil: do you really think you could win against a moving fortress
Heathcliff: what the fuck is wrong with you
Argo: you'll probably win, but your darkest secrets may start spreading everywhere shortly after
Leafa: she will kick your ass in both a virtual reality and the real world, after that you'll have an angry recon going after you. don't fight leafa
Recon: you'll win, unless he's fighting for leafa, then you'll lose
Sakuya: she has an army
Alicia Rue: she has a dragon army
Oberon: why are you still here hurry up and fight him
Sinon: this girl killed a man when she was eleven do I have to add more
Spiegel: you'll most likely win, unless you got near sinon. if you got near sinon run for your life
Sterben: this guy is full of murderous intent and money. don't fight sterben
Yuuki: she wants to fight you, fight her and make her happy. you'll lose but whatever
Eugeo: if you wish to become an ice sculpture that much, go ahead
Alice: everytime alice appears you get a new reason for which you know it is better not to fight her
Selka: just why
Tieze and Ronye: leave them alone, they've already suffered enough
Raios and Humbert: do the world a favor and fight them
Integrity Knights: this is the same as doing bungee jumping without an elastic cord
Cardinal: she doesn't want to fight you. don't get into unnecessary trouble
Quinella: you'll die before even getting near her, and even if you manage to get near her you'll still die, but more brutally
Gabriel: you could fight him, he'll probably just think about how wonderful your soul is since you had the courage to fight him. but then he'll kill you in an attempt to see it. don't fight gabriel
Vassago: don't